This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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