Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
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Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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