Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
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