Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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