We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
