I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
