It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
