We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is my gift to your gina
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
