How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize