I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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