I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
