I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
