i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
