Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize