she looked like the before picture.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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