tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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