return my video game
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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