How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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