apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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