I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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