hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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