What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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