im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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