You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
