btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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