I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
