New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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