i don't like sucking hair
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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