Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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