But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
