just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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