I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
