Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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