So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
