I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
