are you so shy because you have an std?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
