He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
