I cannot find my penis.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
