I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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