umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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