Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woke up backwards on a recliner
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
