I love black thongs
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
