I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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