He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
