Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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