I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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