Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Found the puke drawer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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