I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
