i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize