my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize