dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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