forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
