A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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