Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
