So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
