If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
