I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
