sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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