You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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