someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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