So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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