i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Couch. On fire.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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