I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He? As in you personified your dick?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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